If you pay attention while watching movies you can learn many valuable lessons that might hold you in good stead as you go through life. For instance, here are a cool 35 examples you should take to heart:
1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade – at any time of the year.
2. If you try hard enough, you can outrun an explosion.
3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off – even while scuba diving.
5. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
9. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note – just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
10. If a blonde and a brunette are in equal peril, the brunette will die.
11. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.
12. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.
13. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
14. It’s easy to pull the pin on a grenade with your teeth.
15. All single women have a cat.
16. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
17. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
18. Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
19. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings – especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.
20. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.
21. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds — unless it’s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
22. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
23. A cup of black coffee/splash of cold water in face is enough to render the most inebriated person stone cold sober.
24. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
25. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
26. Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son’s eighth birthday.
27. Many musical instruments – especially wind instruments and accordions – can be played without moving the fingers.
28. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
29. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
30. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
31. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
32. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
33. It is possible to use a helicopter to sneak up on someone.
34. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to handle realtime videophone contact, and can override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
35. No matter how dead you think you’ve killed a bad guy, he can still get up at least three more times.
Do you have an 'off' topic you'd like to share? It can be about anything, which is why it's called "Off Topic". Send it to [email protected], with the words "Off Topic" in the Subject Box.