To the best of my knowledge, yes these folks really did say these things. So next time you’re feeling stupid, dig this up and re-read it. You’ll feel a lot better about yourself!
“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.” — Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
“I don’t know where they’re going to get all this money because we’re running out of rich people in this country.” —Michelle Bachman, US Congresswoman & Presidential Candidate
“I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version.” —Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.” —Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.” —Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it.” —A congressional candidate in Texas.
“Ninety percent of this game is half-mental.” —Yogi Berra
“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.” —Dan Quayle, Vice President under George H. W. Bush
“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?” —Lee Iacocca
“The word ‘genius’ isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” —Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.” —Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.
“If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.” —Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
Feeling smarter yet?
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