My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds … Only 15 to go.
Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomato sauce. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.
How to prepare Tofu:
1. Throw it in the trash.
2. Grill some Meat.
I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
I don’t mean to brag but I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel, then walk 9 feet through shag carpet back to my couch.
Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.
I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented … I forgot where I was going with this.
I love being over 65. I learn something new every day … and forget 5 others.
A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.
I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.