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9 Comments

  1. 1

    Keith

    That was GREAT! Thanks for the good laugh.

  2. 2

    Anonymous

    Drug test and background (D/B) checks?

    I think we also need a policy; when we make each sale, the hopeful buyer needs to pass the D/B too.

    Now that I think about it we need to have all those invited to our presentations to pass a D/B before we let them in the room.

    And maybe a Blood Alcohol test too

    What do you all think? (LMAO)

  3. 3

    Paul

    Very funny and at the same time pretty depressing too.

    As for those drug and background checks? I thought the comment from anonymous was also funny and depressing.

    Especially in a country where about 50% of everyone is on something be that something legal or illegal drugs and, of course, booze so the actual percentage is probably much higher.

  4. 4

    Alan

    Absolutely hilarious and true but I suspect you offended some people too.

    At the end of the day however those of us that are top writers fight an uphill battle all the way to payday.

    From coming in behind poorly trained liners that didn’t sell the deal to payday where the check is always in doubt (as pointed out) to some developers having those ridiculous and, in my opinion, bogus timely payment schemes refusing to pay the fully earned commissions until THEIR clients make required monthly payments; usually six of them.

    Scratch bogus, call that scheme what it is; a SCAM and I’d never work for any of those developers. SHAMEFUL!

  5. 5

    Robin

    How about a sliding commission scale for closers.

    Below (net) 15% close commission is 5%

    15% to 20% close the commission is 10%

    20% to 25% close the commish is 15%

    25% to 30% the commish is 20%

    30% to 35% close and the commission is 25%

    Above 35% and the commission for closers is and remains 30%.

    Works for me!

  6. 6

    Mel

    I like your thinking Robin but I bet developers won’t!

    Count me in but I won’t hold my breath.

  7. 7

    Sam

    Little tyrants come in all forms and that includes meeting some during the interview process.

    I’ve been looking for a new opportunity this past month or two and have been open to relocating my family even at my own expense.

    OMG, some of the HR departments and their personnel have been very kind, informative and helpful but some of the others are about as interested in my STATS as they are spending eternity in Hell.

    They play the whole game by the book which I suppose if they were hiring for a sales position at a department store that is a necessity because retail clerks are just that, clerks.

    I produce strong and verifiable numbers but the little tyrants that I’ve encountered so far don’t see to care about that.

    Instead, as mentioned, they are more interested in background checks and drug testing including, one so far, wanting finger-prints and a photo of me to have on file before I can move up the interview process.

    What is this world coming to?

  8. 8

    Randy

    Part of the problem Sam is that we’re rapidly becoming overly CORPORATE in the U.S.

    Probably elsewhere too but in the U.S. the days of the sales manager recruiting new team members for their sales crew has all but disappeared.

    Now days its mostly about having a proctology exam before you can even get a shot at an actual interview.

    I responded to one ad last week in the Sentinel and had to submit references with full contact information before they’d even bring me in for an interview with one of their “Human Resource Coordinators”.

  9. 9

    Art

    You ain’t seen nothing yet. Google Human Resources and you’ll learn a lot.

    After the drug testing, the background checks next will be the psychological and personality tests along with certified copies of all your school year records beginning with kindergarten.

    If you’ve been baptized they’ll want copies of that too and a full explanation of all your social media postings and associations.

    You’ll also have to submit a full and current credit report and if your parents or grandparents were ever divorced you’ll have to provide copies of their court records too.

    Plus, if you’ve ever had a digest issues that resulted in flatus you’d better have a damn good reason because they’ll want a full and detailed explanation as to what caused the fart in the first place.

    Now that you did all that you get the interview and if you’re hired be prepared to wave, in writing, your freedom or speech because you’ll also sign a disparagement agreement preventing your from making any oral or written comments about your job, your boss or the company.

    And kiss your lawful right to file a suite good-bye if you’ve been wrong’d because you’ll also be forced to sign an arbitration agreement to settle any claims or disputes.

    Are we having fun?

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