Powered by Max Banner Ads 
TODAY IS:

Posts Tagged ‘ Off Topic ’

How Shit Happens in Various World Religions

Jan 16th, 2012 | By Admin | Category: Off Topic

What kinds of shit happen in world religions, and how does it happen? People are different, religions are different, beliefs are different. How so? Let me count the ways:
AGNOTICISM:

It looks and smells like shit, but I haven’t tasted it, so I’m not sure whether its shit or not.
What is this shit?!
How can we KNOW [...]



The Green Thing

Jan 9th, 2012 | By Admin | Category: Off Topic

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment.
The woman apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this green thing back in my earlier days.”
The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care [...]



True Friendship

Jan 2nd, 2012 | By Admin | Category: Off Topic

Are you tired of those sissy ‘friendship’ poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cute little smiley faces on this. Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
When you are sad [...]



Happy New Year 2012

Dec 26th, 2011 | By Admin | Category: Off Topic

With our sincere wishes for a happy and prosperous 2012, here are a few things to lighten your day.
Dieting – New Year Resolutions

2008: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds.
2009: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds.
2010: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2011: I [...]



Ormie the Pig Wants a Cookie

Dec 19th, 2011 | By Admin | Category: Off Topic

Ormie is a Pig, in every sense of the word. Pig see cookie. Pig want cookie. But they are out of reach… or are they? See Ormie’s attempts to gain the warm sweet taste that is his obsession.

This delightful short (3:59) animated film has garnered 8 Festival Awards including Best Short Film (Savannah FF 2010, [...]



’Twas the Night Before Christmas (Legal Version)

Dec 12th, 2011 | By Admin | Category: Off Topic

— Author Unknown
Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter “the House”) a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.
A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stockings, socks, etc., had been affixed by and [...]



Bubba Claus is Coming…

Dec 5th, 2011 | By Admin | Category: Off Topic

To Whom it May Concern:
A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated. Please read the following carefully:
I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American [...]



These Things I Wish For You

Nov 28th, 2011 | By Admin | Category: Off Topic

-Written by Lee Pitts in his 1995 book “People Who Live at the End of Dirt Roads”, this piece was read by Paul Harvey on his nationally syndicated radio show, Paul Harvey News and Comment, and today is often inaccurately credited to Paul Harvey as the author.
We tried so hard to make things better for [...]



The Funniest Questions Asked by Tourists

Nov 21st, 2011 | By Admin | Category: Off Topic

The opportunity to disengage your brain for some true relaxation is one of the greatest attributes of leisure travel. A fringe benefit for travel industry employees is the comic relief that comes from serving people who sometimes have too much fun to think. Just ask them about the questions travelers pose when they’re away from [...]



Happy Thoughts

Nov 14th, 2011 | By Admin | Category: Off Topic

I don’t want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
Here are 15 reasons why it’s good to be a woman:

We got off the Titanic first.
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
Taxis stop for us.
We don’t look like a [...]