January 13, 2017 — Movie buffs will likely remember the 1992 motion picture “A Few Good Men” with a cast of top film stars that included Jack Nicholson as the Commanding Officer (CO) of U.S. Marines stationed at Guantanamo Bay Naval Station in Cuba. The basic plot of the movie centered on whether or not the CO, Col. Jessup, ordered a “Code Red”, an extrajudicial form of punishment whereby other Marines in a platoon would attack and beat up a fellow Marine for shirking from their duties or because a particular Marine didn’t follow orders properly, slacked-off and/or didn’t fit the general mold, etc.
So Here’s The Scoop: As fans will recall there is a tense courtroom scene in the film when defense attorney LTJG (Lieutenant Jr. Grade) Daniel Kaffee (played by Tom Cruise) of the United States Navy was grilling the Marine Col. on the witness stand demanding to know if the CO had ordered the “Code Red” that ultimately led to the death of Private First Class Santiago.
I happened to watch that movie again recently and that started me thinking about the hiring process in the timeshare industry when sometimes the person doing the initial interview and hiring has no sales background let alone the skills required to recognize, respect and appreciate, when they meet, a Master Timeshare Closer (MTC).
So, for everyone’s entertainment I took the liberty of rewriting the aforementioned combative courtroom scene from the movie to fit ‘the biz’. By the way the following is not a disparagement towards TS HR personnel, anyone in our industry or the actual movie, the actors, the director or the authors of the movie script, etc.
My ‘take’ is for amusement only and I’m using the scene when Lt. Kaffee demanded to know: “COLONEL JESSUP! DID YOU ORDER THE CODE RED?” And after a brief pause Jessup leans forward and screams “YOU’RE G_D D____D RIGHT I DID!”
‘A Few Good Closers’
(Interviewer) Well, everything looks good so far but I want the truth: Can you close?
(Applicant) THE TRUTH? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
Son, we deal in the cold hearted reality of tours that were mostly bribed with worthless trinkets or discounts and then lied to in order to get them in the sales center. And among them there is no shortage of skeptics, doubters, deceivers, out right liars including card carrying strokers as well as the newlywed and nearly dead.
It is the sole responsibility of the closer, especially the MTC, when called, to take over the tables, destroy the UP’s pact then put them in the ether where they should have been in the first place and, ultimately, slam dunk ‘em into signing a binding contract.
Who else is gonna do it? You? Your assistant? The liners? The room hostess or sales manager?
As a Master Timeshare Closer I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. And that is to take as many of those so called qualified tours as possible every day and convert them on the back-end into revenue streams that are often in perpetuity for the developer.
And while you weep because most the hopeful Closers you interview, screen and hire can’t close a door, you loathe a MTC because we are a small elite force employing the one-shot, one-call closing methodology until the UPs buy or bolt.
You dislike us because we know we are the deal makers, the shakers, the movers and the money-extracting heart-breakers and you most certainly don’t know what we know – let alone how we do what we do!
And you have the luxury to detest us because you make bank on the house and never miss a paycheck. We, however, deal with waves of your so called qualified sales guests that are flat out broke and when we do close deals we are always confronted with unexpected cancellations, charge-backs or other pay-schemes so when every payday rolls around, without notice, our pay-envelopes may be empty.
You hire many so called closers simply because they praise and schmooze you during their interview and then pass a drug test and background check.
Yet, when they’re called in as the T/O they’re most often weak and tragically talk past the close while praying on their way to the next table they’ll get the Laydownskie so they can keep their jobs.
Hell, ½ of them can barely close deals that my dearly departed apple-pie-baking grandmother could have closed and their inadequacies are one of the main reasons your developers’ net closing ratio is likely below 25%.
And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, pays your salaries. I close more deals, do so at lower marketing costs and generate more desperately needed cash flow for the developer than any three of the all-talk and no-walk closers do combined.
You do not want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at cocktail parties, you want me on the back-end pulling credit cards. You need me to close more deals to make you look good and so you can continue your lifestyle.
Yeah, we use closing skills like qualifying, isolating, boxing and overcoming all objections thrown at us and we use drops to seal the deals.
We use those tactics as the backbone of our proficiency while all the wanna-be closers use those words and skill sets as a punch line.
I have neither the time, desire nor the inclination to explain myself further to anyone that will live under the thumb sucking security blanket and income umbrella that I provide them, and then questions my ability to do so.
I’d rather you just hire me and then stand aside, enjoy your periodic 15-minute breaks, your full lunch hour and during the rest of your work day feel free to shop or look up whatever pleases you online while you look forward to your weekends off and I’m still here on the line closing deals.
Otherwise, I highly recommend that you get out from behind that cushy little mundane keyboard-pecking desk job, get in the trenches with me, make it happen and close some deals for your developer.
Either way I frankly don’t give a damn because there are only a few good closers to go around and if you are too inept to bring me on board then you can rest assured, Sonny, your competitors will.
(Interviewer): Are you saying you can you close?
(Applicant): YOU’RE G_D D____D RIGHT I CAN!
Good Luck Out There
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